Pursuit of wholeness. 4 Practical ways

18 minutes

With the year almost ending, let us start a new series on pursuit of wholeness. You see, every day we have the opportunity to start over, reinvent ourselves, and become our best selves. Therefore, we will look at different aspects of our beings in this series. And I hope that by the end of this series, you will have at the very least started your pursuit of wholeness. And of course we will start by defining what wholeness is, the importance of wholeness and how to pursue wholeness. Let’s get right into it.

• Definition of wholeness.
• Areas of focus in your pursuit of wholeness.
• The Importance of your pursuit of wholeness.
  • Characteristics of a person in pursuit of wholeness.
• 4 Practical ways to help you in your pursuit of wholeness the Biblical way.
  • Have a relationship with God
  • Repentance is a great key in your pursuit of wholeness.
  • Forgiveness
  • Self awareness is vital in your pursuit of wholeness.
• Conclusion

Definition of wholeness.

According to dictionary.com, wholeness is a state of forming a complete and harmonious whole. Cambridge defines wholeness as the quality of being or feeling complete and not divided or damaged.

In Psychology wholeness is defined as A state of completion of the human soul that comes from psychological awareness, self-knowledge, and Self-acceptance.

When it comes to the Biblical definition of wholeness, mercy multiplied defines wholeness as being in a state where your spirit, soul, and body are all aligned, healthy, and positioned towards the Lord.

Now we all know that the first two definitions are just impossible to achieve. However these last two definitions give us a definition that we can all work towards. You see, for you to get to a place of self- awareness, acceptance and knowledge, you need the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can bring alignment in every area of your life. And while balance is not necessarily attainable. Getting to a place of harmony and congruence are achievable. Why then should we desire wholeness?

Areas of focus in your pursuit of wholeness.

While there are many areas to focus on in your pursuit of wholeness. In this series, I want us to focus on 6. We will get to focus on each one as a blog post. Today however I want to mention them and give a brief description.

• Identity. In this one we will focus on keys that will help you discover who you are, how to identify your unique attributes and learn to embrace them and how to lead with your strengths

• Personal development. In this blog, the focus will be on how to better your soul and mind. How to let go of the inner junk and create a lifestyle of continuous growth

• Spiritual well-being. Here the focus will be on deepening your relationship with God. And cultivating practical keys that will help you remain close to God even in your busiest seasons.

• Purpose. This blog post will focus on understanding your purpose and practical keys and questions that will help you discover your God- given assignment. God already put it inside you. The goal for you is to uncover it.

• Relationships and friendships. Wholeness cannot be achieved unless you have meaningful connections. And this blog will help you learn ways you can create meaningful connections. This blog will also help you discern those that are for you and those that are not. And how you can show up as your true self in both friendships and relationships.

• Financial well-being. Until your finances are in order, you will not be fully whole as your source of livelihood will be affected. How can you walk in wholeness when you are in financial distress? You will not operate on an optimum level if you are experiencing financial limitations.

The Importance of your pursuit of wholeness.

Wholeness leads to personal well-being. In your pursuit of wholeness, you realize that your spirit, soul and body become aligned in such a way that you operate from an optimum place. As long as you are not whole, you will always operate from a broken place. And the reality is that as long as you are broken you will bleed over every aspect of your life. Your well being is vital as it includes the awareness of your strengths, weaknesses and your unique attributes that make you, you. Wholeness will help you understand the importance of being yourself, knowing your identity in Christ and walking in your purpose.

Wholeness will lead to you having quality friendships and relationships. And it also helps you to have the capability to pour into the said relationships. Until you are whole you will not have the capacity to pour into others. And the sad part is until you are whole, you will never know who is for you and who is not. Have you ever seen people who are always attracted to toxic people? This is a sign of brokenness. And until they are whole, they will always attract toxicity. The enemy will always use any opportunity given to him. And when he realizes that you are broken, he will use broken people to wound you even further. The reason for this is to hinder you from ever moving forward. Wholeness will enable you have meaningful connections, open up and embrace vulnerability and others peoples views.

Wholeness will also help you walk in creativity and fulfill your God-ordained purpose. You see, the reason why God wants you to walk in wholeness is so that you can fulfill your God-given assignment. The woman with the woman at the well in John 4 had to first be made whole before she could evangelize. Most of the successful people you see who have achieved longevity in their success had to first pursue wholeness. Once they attained some level of wholeness, that was then they stepped into their purpose. Wholeness will help you your productivity, It is through wholeness that people experience fulfillment and life satisfaction.

Your spiritual connection to God is deepened through your pursuit of wholeness. Alignment to His will and ways will be your greatest focus when you are whole. God’s desire is for you to experience wholeness. That was always His will. And this is portrayed in the story of creation. When God created Adam, He said that His creation was good. This meant that Adam was whole and complete, lacking nothing. However after the fall of man and the introduction of sin, brokenness emerged. And since then, God’s focus was to redeem us and bring us back to a place of wholeness. That is why He sent Jesus to the world to die for you and me. The concept of wholeness in the Bible is explained by the term Sozo. This simply means the wholeness of spirit, soul and body.

Now that you know the importance of wholeness, let us look at the how. After all what is the point of telling you why if i cannot point you in the right direction?

Characteristics of a person in pursuit of wholeness.

• A high degree of Self-Awareness.
• High Emotional Intelligence
• Authenticity.
• Resilience
• Integrity
• Open-Mindedness.
• Have a strong sense of Purpose and Meaning
• Empathy
• Have a Positive Mindset
• Have Healthy Relationships
• Continuous Learning
• They practice Gratitude
• They embrace Self-Care

4 Practical ways to help you in your pursuit of wholeness the Biblical way.

Have a relationship with God

The truth is that your pursuit of wholeness begins the minute you gibe your life to Christ. You see, God being your creator means that He is the only one who can fix the broken parts of your life. In the book of Romans, Paul reminds us that prior to salvation we were dead. And it was until we received salvation in Christ that we came alive.

This echoes what God told Adam as He warned him not to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God warned Adam that should he do it, he would die. Now we obviously know that Adam did not die a physical death. This then means that God was referring to a spiritual death.

Your pursuit of wholeness will begin with salvation. I don’t know about you but I am determined to pursue wholeness for as along as I live. Therefore, if you have yet to give your life to Jesus, I encourage you to do so today. Invite Jesus to be your Lord and Savior.

The scripture in Acts 2 tells us that when we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that Jesus is Lord, we will be saved. It is as simple as that. Jesus wants to make you whole. Receive Him today. It does not matter how bad your past was, or even what you have done in your present. The minute you say yes to Him, you become a new creation and He gives you a clean slate.

Granted, there will be a process of sanctification where your soul catches up with your spirit. However, in the spirit realm, you are now a new creation. Congratulations for making the best decision of your life. I want you to know that heaven is celebrating with you today. How then can you deepen your relationship with God?

Here are a few keys that will help you do just that.

• Prayer. You see, prayer helps you relinquish control and give it back to He who controls everything. Prayer is also your way of communicating to God. I want to encourage you to discipline yourself in prayer. And again I want you to know that prayer is simply talking to God like you would a friend. Granted, He is your Father too and He is God. But just start with telling Him what is on your mind. Be vulnerable and open. It might seem ridiculous at first. Especially because you cannot see Him. As you do that, you will warm up to prayer. And pretty soon you will notice the depth of your relationship from the fruit you will exhibit.

• Reading the Word. The only way intimacy in relationships is built is through spending quality time and getting to know the person. And of course trust. This is the same in your relationship with God. You need to spend quality time with Him. And you can do this by reading His word. In the Bible you will learn who God is, His ways and His character. If you want to get to the place where you trust God, then make reading His word a habit. The more you read His word, the more you will know Him. And in turn trust Him. Reading His word is not enough, you need to follow what His word says.

• Friendship with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is your friend. When Jesus left the earth, He sent the Holy Spirit as your helper and friend. Salvation came with the gift of the Holy Spirit. He already lives in you as long as you are a believer. However for you to have experiential knowledge of Him, you need to invite Him into your life. Give Him room to speak and correct you. And don’t stifle Him when He corrects you. And again hearing the Holy Spirit comes as you spend time in the word and in prayer.

• A community of believers. Growing in your relationship with God requires accountability and having a community to correct, encourage and support you in your walk with God. No man is an island and having a community to rally you on is imperative. Don’t isolate. It is through isolation that the enemy will attack you and weaken your faith in God. There are great people out there. Give people a chance.

• Praise and worship. Praise is thanking God for what He has done while worship is the awareness of who God is and honoring Him for that. These two keys are essential in your walk with God. They help you overcome pride, arrogance and self-reliance. If you don’t know where to start, read the book of Psalms and use it as your guide in cultivating your relationship with God. Ask the Holy Spirit for help too.

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Repentance is a great key in your pursuit of wholeness.

Repentance involves a changing of your ways. This means that a truly repentant heart is one that does not go back to its old ways. And one thing about repentance is that it requires you to renew your mind. And in Romans 12: 1-2, Paul tells us that it starts with us offering ourselves as a living sacrifice. This means that everything you do should stem from a place of pleasing God and doing what He says in His word. This however can only be achieved through the renewing of your mind.

How then can you renew your mind?

• Reading God’s word is an excellent way for renewing your mind. You see, you first need to unlearn your old ways and relearn the right way by focusing on Gods word. This is because that is where you will find the truth. And it is through discovering the truth and meditating on the truth that you will experience mind renewal. After all we do know that what we focus on we empower. And our actions stem from thoughts first. Spend time in the word and make it a consistent action. It might take a while before you can see results. I promise you it will be worthwhile though. You will wake up one day and realize that the sins that used to bother you before are no longer a problem

• Journal. Sometimes writing things down can help you in your mind renewal journey. You see as you journal your thoughts sometimes you get a glimpse of how dark or evil they are. And in turn it will prompt a desire to change. Journaling is like sharing. And as we know a problem shared is half solved. And again as you journal you are able to put thoughts and emotions to word which will help you identify your problem and solve it. As you navigate shifting your mindset, I want to encourage you to factor in journaling and penning your thoughts down. You will be amazed at the results. I incorporated journaling as a habit in 2019 and I have seen tremendous growth in my transformation journey.

• Be honest with God. Sometimes it could be that you need some perspective on why your mindset or action is wrong. If this is the case, then taking it to God will really help you. I struggled with letting go of alcohol until I involved God and was honest about it. And how God helped me overcome this was that He gave me a glimpse of my future and showed me how alcohol would hinder my success. And this was enough to cause me to stop drinking. And since then I haven’t touched alcohol even when presented with an opportunity. Of course the Bible tells us not to drink, but I needed a nudge and i got it. Could it be that the reason you are struggling is because you have not been vulnerable with God?

Forgiveness

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. This means that the decision is deliberate and not based on feelings or emotions. Forgiveness is beneficial to you as it helps you release the other person and not have them hold power over you. So it is for your own good. It helps you heal. And to quote someone, unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

And yet forgiveness helps you in your journey as the Bible clearly tells us God will not forgive us until we forgive those that have wronged us. Imagine living a life where God cannot forgive you and you cannot access His mercy because of unforgiveness. How sad. Now, I am not downplaying the pain or the hurt. All I am saying is for you to consider forgiving them.

And the truth is that forgiveness is a process. It does not come instantly that is why from the definition, we learned that forgiveness is a choice. You have to be deliberate about forgiving your offender. And again it does not have to be other people you are forgiving, it could be forgiving yourself. And in some cases, forgiving God.

With that being said, here are some practical keys that will help you forgive.

• Acknowledge the hurt and pain. You can only deal with what you address. It is imperative that you acknowledge that you are hurting and they did was wrong. It also help if you acknowledge the disappointment you are experiencing because of being let down. As you acknowledge the pain, you realize that some of the anger bottled within will dissipate giving you room to start your healing journey.

• Take it to God and ask for His help. The next thing you need to do is to take it to God. God tells us to cast our cares and worries to Him. And yes in this case it is not cares or worries but pain. Still, He wants to help ease your pain. He did not create you to carry weight. He wants you to bring it to Him. One thing I have to reiterate is that you have to be honest with Him. Don’t minimize the pain you are feeling or try to wear a mask before Him. This will only delay the healing process. Take it to Him. In the event it is Him you are angry with, tell Him anyway. He is ready and wants to listen to you.

• Release the need for justice. As long as you are focused on seeing justice served, you will delay your journey to forgiveness and in turn freedom. There are moments where you will not see justice served. And the goal is to come to terms with that. This will help you release the pain. It is unfortunate what happened to you. And you will never understand why. However you can choose to let go of the past and move forward. There is so much left for you to experience and there is a bright future ahead. Always keep this in mind. It will help you embrace forgiveness.

• Shift your perspective. You could do this by asking the Holy Spirit help you understand why they did what they did. You see, hurt people hurt people. And the truth is that they hurt you because they are broken. Try to put yourself in their shoes. It might help you empathize with them and in turn forgive them. This does not mean justifying their actions or not acknowledging that it was wrong. It simply helps shift your perspective from a victim mentality. In doing so, you step into your victory and overcoming season.

• Understand the benefit of forgiveness. This is also a way that will help you shift your perspective. And this will make it easy for you to forgive. Forgiveness benefits your body, soul and spirit. Don’t you want to be whole? Understanding the importance and the rewards that come from forgiving will help you embrace it more. You can find scriptures on forgiveness.

• Seek professional help. This is beneficial if you are struggling with forgiveness. A professional counselor will help you deal with the trauma and the stronghold created from the pain. If the other keys don’t seem to work. Maybe it is time for you to seek professional help. There is no shame in that. And there are moments where your healing will come after you share your pain with someone. Remember the scripture that reminds us to confess our sins one to another? And what about the phrase that says a problem shared is half solved?

• Set boundaries. Incidentally, having boundaries will help you avoid unnecessary pain and hurt in future. Sometimes, the reason we experience pain is because of our inability to set boundaries. Look out for a blog soon on the same if you are struggling with that.

Self awareness is vital in your pursuit of wholeness.

Self-awareness is defined as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires,” according to Oxford Language.

Psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund proposed this definition:

“Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”

Self awareness leads to emotional intelligence, finding your identity, discovering your purpose and becoming your best and authentic self. After all, how will you become whole if you are not self aware? You will not even know where to start. And again this is something we will discuss in depth.

But for now, let us look at ways you can improve your self awareness.

• Embrace solitude. The beauty about solitude is that it helps you think and connect with your spirit. You see, wholeness goes hand in hand with solitude. Kindly note that I don’t mean loneliness. Solitude is the art of taking time away to re calibrate and become in tune with who you really are. It is a deliberate action to shut out all the noises and spend time with you and God. This will also require you having a journal to write out what you are feeling. To learn more on how to embrace solitude, check out this blog.

• Continuous learning. The more you learn about yourself the more self aware you are. You can do this through learning about things that interest you or even things and areas you are struggling with. Sometimes continuous learning can stem from you learning more about someone you admire. As you do so, you become aware of the attributes you like in them and this peaks your curiosity to learn more about yourself. Try something new. Find out if your dislikes are really yours or self-imposed. Discover your values and morals. Find out the will of God in His word. And while it might be overwhelming, Just focus on one thing at a time. And as you do, you will incorporate other things slowly. The goal is to make it a lifestyle not a one-off thing.

• Find your identity. The foundation of this is to have a relationship with God. Once you have this, reading Hos word will help you discover your identity. Find out what the scriptures say about you. And use these scriptures as your guide in becoming your true self. Once you find your identity, you realize that wholeness becomes paramount.

• Master emotional intelligence. People who are in pursuit of wholeness have mastered emotional intelligence. This means that they do not let their emotions dictate their day. Rather regardless of their emotions, they are able to still interact well with others and process each emotion in a mature way. They have infrequent outbursts and they don’t let anger control them. Being able to articulate your feelings in a calm way goes a long way in your pursuit of wholeness.

Conclusion

Your pursuit of wholeness is a life long journey. However there is a point where you can get to that will bring out the master, victor and successful you. Truthfully, you don’t need to seek perfection as it is unattainable. However you can choose to operate from your best self lever. This will help you become who God truly created you to be and you will be able to impact your generations and leave a legacy.