THE POWER IN ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR PAIN

Did you know that it is important to acknowledge your pain? Trying to hide your emotions has been known to cause more harm than good. Although we know that, isn’t it funny how we try to hide what we are feeling only for it to come out when we least expect it? As human beings, it is normal for us to feel pain as it is a part of who we are. It does not make you weak, it only makes you human. One way to acknowledge your emotions is by being aware of them. Emotional intelligence is referred to as the ability to recognize and manage your emotions. So for one to have a high degree of emotional intelligence we see that it is vital for them to recognize them, to begin with.

Healing whether, from your past pain, trauma, loss, or whatever the case may be is an uncomfortable process. We can all agree that it’s easier to ignore the pain by distracting ourselves than processing it. That is why the entertainment industry is making so much money. The global video streaming market size is estimated to be worth 50.11 billion in 2020. Music, movies, games, sports, and other distractions have been used by us to dull the pain. But the thing we do not realize is that what does not kill you makes you stronger. And if we deal with our pain, we emerge better and stronger than we were before. Unfortunately, carrying pain baggage from our past only keeps us in endless cycles of dysfunctions.

Ways people try to avoid their pain.

• Drinking
• Partying
• Watching movies
• Sleeping
• Noise
• Over socializing
• Overextending yourself

When you do them because you want to numb the pain and avoid the stillness and silence This only does more harm than good. And it is vital for you to be self-aware.

Self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through introspection. Introspection simply means the examination of one’s own mental and emotional process. It is looking within and doing so soberly and objectively.

Granted, it can be difficult to be self-aware because we are prone to lying to ourselves or worse Still, not ready to deal with the pain that comes with introspection. But when you do, you are able to discover some of the inner turmoil and figure out ways to help you heal. There are signs that will show you when you are harboring pain inside.

Signs that you are harboring pain from the past

Easily aggravated

This can happen when you find yourself angry and distraught over seemingly petty stuff done to you by a specific person. Whenever you find yourself always at odds with someone over small things that would otherwise not affect you, it is a sign that you are letting your past control you. In this case, this means that you have pent-up emotions and there is a deeper issue. It is always better to deal with situations when they arise other than hold them in. Then we don’t give room to the enemy to create strongholds in our lives that lead to changes in our personalities and character. The personality change is usually a protective mechanism and unfortunately, this prevents us from living our best lives.

Sometimes we get easily aggravated by one person and not others. That too can mean that you have pent-up emotions. Have you found yourself angry over one person for doing seemingly trivial things, yet when other people do it you don’t get affected? This is also a sign that you are harboring pain inside.

Hypersensitivity

While we can agree that we are different and some people are more sensitive than others, sometimes pain can cause us to be overly sensitive. An example is when things that were not an issue to you in the past suddenly start affecting you. Also being very critical of others can be a sign that you are harboring pain. It is important that you do a self-check that will help you recognize the things that affect you. If you notice a change in your character and emotional intelligence, it could be a sign that you are harboring pain inside.

Inability to stay still and enjoy solitude

I understand that extroverts enjoy other people’s company. But when you find yourself avoiding solitude, this can be a sign that you have ignored the pain in you. This is because whenever we are still, our soul tends to bring up all the junk inside of us, and sometimes it almost seems like your inside voice is louder than the one outside. When we have unresolved issues, they always come up in silence. So when you find yourself afraid of solitude and avoiding it at all costs, that is a sign there.

Practical steps to help deal with your pain

Know yourself

The importance of knowing yourself is that you can know your limits. This will prevent you from placing yourself in situations that will cause you pain all the time. I am not obviously talking about isolation. What I mean is that we all know that there are situations we place ourselves in that cause us more harm than good. And that is why it is important to know yourself, know your limits and guard your heart and soul. It is so unfortunate that as Christians we think that we can allow others to walk all over us. And we even go to the point of actually allowing others to bring pain in our lives in the name of loving our neighbors.

Well, the term Christian stems from the root word Christ. And following the example of Jesus, we read that He would leave whenever the Pharisees were too much for Him. He would retreat not just to be alone. But sometimes He would leave the city altogether. You can love people from afar you know. You don’t have to always put yourself in places where all you experience is pain. But for you to get here, you need to know who you are. This will stem from having a relationship with God and practicing solitude and stillness.

Be still.

Being still comes from quieting your soul. A practical way is to go in a quiet room, get rid of all distractions, and allow your soul to bring up all the junk hidden inside. When in this state so many things will come up and the best thing is for you to take note of each and everything that pops up in your mind, regardless of whether you solved it or not.

Being still comes from being mindful of everything that is within you. As you get rid of the distractions, you give room for your emotions to come alive. You are able to hear your thoughts and know what is going on inside you. In your stillness, you are able to embrace solitude which is an essential key in helping you acknowledge your pain. Solitude enhances your self-awareness skills.

Stillness involves quieting the external noise and the internal noise as well. Let me ask you this. When was the last time you listened to your soul and confronted the junk inside? Do you confront internal issues as they arise or do you wait until you can’t take it anymore?

Acknowledge the emotions.

This is important because it is a step towards identifying the source of your pain. Acknowledging is simply allowing yourself to feel all the emotions that come up. Sometimes you might want to cry, or even be angry. Whatever the case may be, go ahead and allow yourself to feel it all. Ignoring it will not make it go away. You will only be postponing it and sooner or later, it will catch up with you.

When you acknowledge your pain, you recognize that what you are feeling is important and it is okay to feel it. You were created as an emotional being and it is time for you to embrace that. Having emotions does not make you weak. Instead, it actually gives you strength because it shows that you are very self-aware and thus able to deal with your emotions. How else can you deal with the internal chaos if you do not give yourself room to deal with your emotions? How can you deal with them if you do not even acknowledge them? So if you want to have emotional intelligence you will have to learn to acknowledge your emotions.

The importance of emotional intelligence.

• Have uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings
• Manage our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed
• Improve relationships with the people we care about

At work, emotional intelligence can help us:

• Resolve conflicts 
• Coach and motivate others
• Create a culture of collaboration
• Build psychological safety within teams

Identify the root cause of the pain.

What caused the pain? By you identifying the cause you are taking the power back and this leads to exposure. Anytime we acknowledge our pain and identify the cause of it, we take our power back. This also prevents us from creating strongholds in our lives that prevent us from moving forward in our lives. Stronghold is a way the enemy holds us back.

This is because when we have strongholds in our lives, we will have limiting beliefs that keep us from being fully what God created us to be, Also by identifying the root cause, we expose the darkness and allow the light of God to shine in us thus bringing healing. Isolating the situation also helps us to know the best strategy that will lead to healing because not all wounds are the same.

Journaling

Journaling is a form of therapy. It helps one isolate all the unresolved issue s and deal with them one by one. Also one can remember even the minute details when you write it down. Again writing also helps you realize the part you played in the situation while also helping you in your impartiality. So if you can’t afford to go for counseling, try writing down whatever issue you are dealing with and it will help you gain perspective.

If you don’t know where to start when it comes to Journaling you can buy a journal that is specific to the problem you are dealing with. So maybe you can get a journal on pain. As you do so also get a devotion on the same as it will help you specifically deal with it. I have a few recommendations, you can check out my Amazon picks below.

How to journal

Once you are in a quiet place and are in a comfortable position, have a pen and paper ready and just write exactly what you feel in your heart. This can be in the form of free writing. The sentences don’t have to be complete and also you don’t have to write them in a straight line. If you are artistic you could feel the urge to draw out your emotions. Whatever the case may be just go ahead and put to paper what is in your heart. As you do that you will realize that your mind gets clearer and you are able to pinpoint exactly what is bothering you and the wounds caused by the pain.

prayer and communication with the Holy Spirit.

When we talk to the Holy Spirit, He helps us unpack all the pain and baggage and shows us ways we can deal with the same. He also shows us ways we can harness the pain to bring out the hidden gem in us. Although pain is uncomfortable, if harnessed it reveals the best self in us and also helps us discover our purpose because there is always purpose in our pain. If we ask God, He will reveal to us the purpose for our pain. And when we submit to you He will carve us out the way He so desired to propel us into our divine destiny. Prayer also helps us to forgive those who have hurt us and by doing so makes us lighter. This also helps us heal faster.

Prayer does not have to be complicated, just tell God exactly what you are feeling and bare your heart to Him. As you do so, He will fill you with His peace as you let go of your worry.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204&version=NIV#:~:text=4%C2%A0Rejoice%20in,in%20Christ%20Jesus

Read books and the Bible

When we read amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "radiantlyre0d-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Journal "; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Testimonies"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "Books"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "f0cbe6f069bac09b753d29a52bab9213"; amzn_assoc_default_browse_node = "283155"; ” target=”_blank” rel=”noreferrer noopener sponsored nofollow”>testimonies and stories of people who have been through our situations, we can heal because we realize that we are not alone and if they could heal, we too can. Also, this helps us to discover our strengths and purpose. Sometimes our purpose can be ignited by the books we read when we realize the paths taken by those who went through what we did before us.

The Bible is a love letter from God to you. It also helps give blueprints on ways to deal with pain and how you can effectively acknowledge it. If you don’t know where to start you can look at the book of Psalms. David is one of the authors of Psalms and in there he gives us a practical example of how you can be honest and real with what you are feeling while at the same time not sinning. If you want to heal, you will have to be honest with your pain. The Bible also shows us how people of authority were confident enough to acknowledge their pain. This also helps give you the confidence to do the same too. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your emotions because pain is not exclusive to you.

Ask for feedback

Since we now know that there are external telltale signs that you are harboring pain, you can ask for feedback from loved ones who can be impartial. Remember to ask the Holy Spirit for discernment to help you use wisdom while asking for feedback. Asking for feedback helps you also recognize how your behavior affects those around you, therefore, helping you make the right choices.

Conclusion

Do not allow pain to hold you back, rather let it propel you into the heights and destiny that God intended for you. If harnessed well, we can turn our pain into purpose. You are not the only person with emotions and acknowledging them will not make you weak. Whenever you are hurt or something happens to you that warrants you to feel pain, allow yourself to feel it. And practice self-awareness skills so that you can improve your emotional intelligence skills.

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