2 Interesting Ways Your Friends Affect Your Finances as a Christian Millennial.

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

Do you know your friends affect your finances as a Christian millennial? You are the average of the people you spend time with. Do you know this? And again, your friends can determine your future. Wondering how? First off, there was this study done. Dr. David McClelland, the Harvard social psychologist, found in his studies that the people you associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure. Yale professor Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis and Harvard Ph.D. James Fowler go even further than Ferriss, Rohn, and others in their book, Connected. They proved you are the average of all the people you spend your time with. So, let me ask this, is your circle of friends, worth influencing you? Are you comfortable with them deciding your financial future?

How your friends affect your finances
- Your friends affect your financial position
- Your friends will affect your money mindset.
How then can you manage your friendships and finances well?
What does the Bible say about friendships?
Conclusion

How your friends affect your finances

Your friends affect your financial position

When you hang around friends who save, you will naturally save. This is because they will talk about their journey to you and it will motivate you to do the same. If you surround yourself with people who invest both financially and in knowledge, you will be drawn to the same and you find you will want to invest and learn.

Conversely, when you surround yourself with people who are always spending, chances are you will spend like them. And it can be worse e if they are making more money than you. When your friends have more disposable income, they might make you spend just to keep up. It can especially be difficult if you struggle with people-pleasing and the fear of missing out. Have you had moments where you take a trip that you know you cannot afford because your friends took one before you and they had so much fun without you? Or maybe your friends have the finances to spend attending a concert but you don’t and because they are going, you find you want to attend too.

When the inverse is true, that is you make more money than your friends, you might find that they encourage you to invest in them, knowing very well they will not only pay you back, but the investment might not materialize. Overspending in the name of friendship can be costly. Or maybe because of your financial status, you find you are the one always catering to the bills when you go out. This again can affect your finances especially when you don’t have a budget or worse when you don’t have any financial goals.

Your friends will affect your money mindset.

Did you know that your environment affects how you think? The conversations you have with your friends concerning money will shape your money mindset. Of course, the ultimate money mindset is shaped as a child. Your friends, however, can influence your money mindset positively or negatively. Just to give you examples. When you have a positive money mindset, you will.

Avoid beating yourself up for past negative money habits.
Avoid comparing yourself with others and recognize that your financial journey is unique to you.
Easily say no when you don’t have the finances to do something.
Be proactive and aware of your thoughts surrounding money
Have an abundance mindset. Always know that there is an abundance of money and when you look for it, you will find it.

Now, in such a case, your friends will also mirror these views because these are the people you are spending your time with. On the other hand, if your friends have a negative money mindset, you will;

Focus on the things that are not going well e.g. your never-enough salary, the ever-rising cost of goods, the problem with the government, and the things you cannot afford.
Think that money is the cause of problems. With this mentality, you will never see the need to work for money. In fact, this mindset can to some degree promote laziness. After all, how will you strive for something that goes against your beliefs?
Always feel you can never have enough money or that you will never achieve that financial goal you have set. This stems from a scarcity mindset. Again, there is power in your confession. If you don’t believe you can afford something or that you will achieve a certain financial goal, you are right. Success starts in the mind. When you believe in your heart, you will achieve it.
Never think that you can make the same amount of money someone else makes. Let me ask you this, why not? If they did it surely that’s a sign that you can too.

How then can you manage your friendships and finances well?

Check your circle

Since you know your friends affect your finances, it is time for you to check your circle. Are they motivating you to grow financially or are they pulling you back? How can you determine that?

If your dates are always centered on only spending and you never talk about ways to make more money, it might be time to change your circle. There is no need for you to always spend yet to have financial goals that you need to achieve. Ask yourself this: do you always have to spend all you have to please your friends? Do they guilt trip you when you can’t make it to attend one event they have invited you to?
Are you comfortable saying no to your friends? Again, your friends should understand when you excuse yourself from an event. Let’s say you have friends who make more than you. Your friends should be okay when you tell them you cannot afford to attend a specific function or go on a vacation because of your budget. If they are true to you, they will also find hang-out activities that can accommodate your budget. You don’t always have to bend over backward to please your friends. If you are the only one always compromising, it might be time for you to make new friends.
What are your conversations on finances mainly centered on? Do you guys always talk about negative things or are your conversations hopeful? Do you encourage each other to get better jobs, upskill, or start a side hustle? Or do you guys only talk about the negative things happening in the economy? Do you guys talk about saving for the future, and investing in your retirement, or do you only talk about the vacations you take? Again, it is easier when you have accountability partners. And even better when it is your friends. This is because you guys spend most of your time together, aside from work or school.
If you make more money than your friends, establish some boundaries. Help them realize you cannot always spend on their businesses or them as you have financial goals and other obligations that you need to take care of. Again, your friends should not hate you for setting boundaries. If they are your true friends, they will understand you. They will also be okay carrying their financial weight when you guys go out. You can offer to treat them once in a while. But when you make it a habit then there is something wrong, and it is time for you to assess that.

Have a budget

Having a budget will help you avoid overspending and also help you achieve your financial goals. When you know you are a social person, it is important for you to set provisions around your social events. Again, set a budget that is specific to you. If you need help with that, check out my blog on a complete guide to budgeting. You can also check out my budgeting tool as well. Setting a budget will help you know your limits, your responsibilities, and your disposable income. This helps you spend wisely. Don’t be afraid to say no once you have spent what you had set for the month. Recognize that there is the following month and the month after that.

Seek professional help if your friends affect your finances

If you realize you struggle with saying no and FOMO, it might be time for you to seek professional help. Therapy helps you overcome the fear of loneliness and the fear of man. Could it be the reason you can’s say no to your friends is because you fear rejection? What is the root cause of that? Unless you deal with the junk inside, you will make the wrong choices in a bid to stay relevant. What’s the point of getting into debt to please others? Do you know that when it is time to pay up, you will be on your own? And again, it is okay to learn to say no. Going for therapy will help you out in the long run.

Be content with your current financial position.

Please understand that I am not encouraging complacency. All I am saying is that it is okay to accept that your finances are not the same as your friends. And this is not a bad thing. This is because you can use your friends as motivation to desire more for yourself. But in the meantime, it is okay to live within your means. Again, a budget will help you make wise financial decisions.

Since your friends affect your finances, encourage them to invest in financial literacy.

Investment does not always have to be monetary. They can invest their time as well. There are free courses and books online that you and your friends can learn to ensure that you are financially savvy. Talk about what you have learned. And learn to keep each other accountable. You can even set financial goals together and keep track of how you are all doing.

Encourage one another to stay on track. Friendships can also build your financial wealth. And it comes from accountability and sharing your knowledge. Maybe you guys could pool your funds and invest in a project. We have heard of many people who have successfully built wealth as friends through the pooling of resources. Do you now see how your friends affect your finances?

What does the Bible say about friendships?

Psalm 133:1– Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

1 Thessalonians 5:11– Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Ecclesiastes 4:9– Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.

Proverbs 12:26 – A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 13:20 – Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Your friends matter. Just as you are careful with your other dealings, you should be careful of the people you hang out with. When you surround yourself with successful people, you will prosper. Your greatest friend is the Holy Spirit. You can ask Him for help in choosing your friends. He will help you with that because He sees and knows it all and knows your future. The Holy Spirit is your helper, friend, and confidant. He is always rooting for you.

Conclusion

Just like Jesus was careful when selecting His 12 disciples, you should be careful doing the same. It is okay to have friends that make more than you, just ensure they don’t lead you to debt trying to keep up with them. Conversely, it is okay to have friends that make less than you, just ensure you encourage them to level up and they are determined to do so. You cannot be the only rich person all the time. You will only grow to the level of your surrounding. And your thinking will be capped to your environment and friendships. Do you like your current financial position? What are you going to do about it if you don’t? You have the power to reinvent yourself if you want to. Take the step and don’t be afraid.