The Proven Method to Relinquish control and Minimize Setbacks in Your Life

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes

Are you experiencing a cycle of setbacks where one day things seem to be going well and the next they just crumble before you? Have you tried to experience breakthroughs to no avail despite the effort you try to put in? Has everything you have tried to do failed and you are now at the end of the road? Maybe you feel you are just unlucky because everyone around you doesn’t seem to have such a hard time but you. Well, if any of these scenarios resonate with you then this word is for you. And maybe you are asking yourself what is wrong with you, where you went wrong, and how to fix it. Well, the good news is that you can relinquish control, the bad news is that it takes time.

• Are you wondering why you are experiencing setbacks?
• What is control?
  • How to identify if you have  control issues
• How do you Biblically relinquish control?
  • Trust and let go
  • Pray
  • Obedience.
  • Get out of your comfort zone
  • Practical Keys that will help you relinquish control
  • Scriptures that will help you relinquish control
    • Isaiah 26:3 KJV
    • 1 Peter 5:7 KJV
    • Jeremiah 29:11 KJV
    • Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
  • Final thought

Are you wondering why you are experiencing setbacks?

Because if you are experiencing any of the scenarios mentioned above chances are you are a control freak. You like controlling the outcomes of situations and like certainty. Unfortunately, while this is a good thing in the world, it is not good in your Christian walk. This is because when we become Christians, we surrender our lives: and every aspect of who we are to God and allow Him to be The Lord and Savior of our lives. And as we all know, God continuously refines us so that we can reflect on Jesus more.

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And as long as you like to control outcomes, it means that you have not given God total control of your life. Surrender boils down to trust and when you try to control any outcome in your life. It means that you do not trust God in that area and that will be the area you get tested in. So what God is teaching you based on the setbacks in your life is that you are probably a control freak. And it is now time for you to relinquish control. And hand the reins back to Him who is the One who controls everything.

Have you been wondering if you can ever relinquish control? Maybe you have been telling yourself that you are tired of always controlling the narrative because it doesn’t seem to work out. Or maybe there has been chaos in your life because you like controlling situations.

Are you experiencing repeated setbacks? That is a pattern and because we know God does nothing for the sake of it, this should tell you He is trying to get your attention. And in this case, trying to get you to relinquish control. Relinquishing control is very uncomfortable and messy sometimes. Can you imagine trusting God in every area of your life? When you are used to taking charge of your life? Maybe you studied a certain course so that you can stand out in the job market and it still didn’t work. What do you do? Where do you start and how do you even navigate the confusion?

What is control?

This is the ability or power to decide or strongly influence the particular way in which something will happen or someone will behave or the condition of having such ability or power. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/control

Relinquish is defined as the art of surrendering and letting go of something. Therefore relinquishing control simply means letting go of control, surrendering control to the One who controls everything.

How to identify if you have control issues

• Do you hate taking risks and being spontaneous? Are you an over-planner?
• Could it be that you experienced some sort of trauma as a child that led you to want to take control of your life and control the narrative?
• Maybe you experienced financial constraints as a child and this led you to want to save more and have a stable career.
• Or maybe you suffered losses in your life that caused you to close yourself off, leading you to become a bully and emotionally distant because you don’t want to experience the pain you did.
• Or maybe someone betrayed you, and this led you to stop trusting other people.
• Just maybe people took advantage of you for being nice and you vowed to protect your heart by controlling the narrative.

All these are just a few examples of how control can manifest in your life. Simply put, you do what you can to control the narrative in your life and shield yourself from harm and pain. Unfortunately, this shows that you do not trust God to protect you from harm because you are taking matters into your own hands.

God wants to be the one to shield you from all these things. He says in Genesis 15:1 that He is our shield. As a Godly woman, it is imperative to allow God to be your shield. This is the only way you will be able to radiate the warmth and charm tied to being a godly sophisticated woman. Being in control robs you from operating in your godly femininity. Why don’t you let God do what He can do? Trying to control the narrative prevents you from living a full life because you try to stick to what you are used to. After all, you have tried it before and it worked.

Unfortunately, God is always doing something new and fresh. Therefore, often He will get you to relinquish the old so that you can embrace the new. So how can you learn to let go? What things, areas, or situations is God asking you to relinquish control of?

How do you Biblically relinquish control?

Now that you are ready to relinquish control and fully operate as a godly sophisticated woman, let us see how you can do it.

Trust and let go

You need to let go of any sense of control that you think you have and surrender everything to God. But before you do that you need to build a relationship with God. How will you trust God if you don’t even know His character? Trust and intimacy go hand in hand. You can never trust someone if you don’t have a revelation of who they are. And trust stems from a place of safety and vulnerability. You need to feel comfortable pouring your heart out to someone and feel safe around them for you to trust them. This is the same case with God. Before you can trust Him, you have to know Him and know His intentions for you. The only way to do this is by learning more about Him through reading the Word of God and asking the Holy Spirit for revelation.

Reading the Bible, prayer, and worship are some of the ways that can help you trust God and therefore relinquish control. When you read the Bible, you get to learn about God’s character and by seeing what He did for others, you can trust Him to do the same for you too. Again fellowship with God through communing, conversation, and listening to His voice are ways you can cultivate your trust in God.

Letting go of control is a sign that you trust God and know He has your best interest at heart. It also means that you know He is your Father and He loves you. God will never leave you even when everyone else around you does, He remains the constant in your life. And when you let go you will live a more fulfilled life because you will not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Isn’t it better to know that God Almighty controls your life? This should in no way give you room to live a reckless life or even fail to take responsibility for your actions. Rather, it should assure you that He has everything under control and He will work everything out for your good. He says so in Romans.

So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. Romans 8:28 TPT

Pray

Give it all to God and stop trying to control the narrative. Take all your worries to Him. He says that He listens to us when we pray. The more you pray, the easier it gets to release control. Because prayer requires humility and the awareness that God is greater than you, and this is enough to get you to get over yourself. Once you realize that without God, you are nothing, every ounce of control disintegrates and surrender becomes a normal part of your life. Prayer also helps get rid of pride, which gives you a false sense of control and power. So learn to make prayer a daily part of your life and as you do that, it will become easy to relinquish control in your life.

Once you realize that you are nothing, every ounce of control disintegrates and surrender becomes a lifestyle.

Radiantlu resurging

Prayer is a way of communing with God. As you pray, you recognize His Sovereignty and this gives you the confidence to let go of control.

Obedience.

Another way that will help you relinquish control is through obedience. What is God telling you to do? In some instances, the reason people try to control the outcome is that they are avoiding what God told them to do, so they try to do something else as a safety net. Could God be asking you to do something uncomfortable and you do not want to do it? Maybe what God is asking you to do makes little sense to you or even doesn’t look feasible. Obeying Him even when it is uncomfortable is one of the best ways to relinquish control.

It is through obedience that you will experience the fullness of God. This will in turn help you surrender your life to Him fully.

Get out of your comfort zone

Take risks, do something you are not used to and be spontaneous. Try something new, make new friends, and open up. Be intentional in cultivating the friendship, reach out to people you normally wouldn’t, and see what happens. The more risks you take and the more spontaneous you are, the less control you will hold on to and it will make trusting God very easy. Have child-like faith and learn to take God at His word.

God will take you on unfamiliar paths because He wants you to depend on Him fully. In doing so, you get to experience Him in ways you never would have.

Your surrender opens avenues to experience God in ways you otherwise never would have.

Radiantly resurging

Practical Keys that will help you relinquish control

Focus on the process not the outcome. Enjoy the journey. Don’t try to figure out the outcome. Find the joy in the process and journey.

Rethink control illusions. It is important to recognize that not everything is within your control. And regardless of how much you try to plan, there will be times when things don’t go as planned. This does not mean you made a mistake. That’s God’s plan for your life. After all, God is sovereign therefore when something goes wrong in your life it means He allowed it. God has the overall control. And you accepting this will help you relinquish control.

Learn to enjoy experiences without clinging to people or things. Hold things loosely in your hands and recognize that things can go and people can change and that is okay. Do not cling so much to how things are and forget to evolve. Let go when it is time and don’t force relationships.

Learn to delegate. It is okay to allow other people to take the lead sometimes. And it is okay to have an open mind and give people the room to do things their way. Your way is not always the best. And that’s okay too. After all, no one is perfect. Relinquishing control becomes easy when you give others room to take the lead. This also helps to build trust in others which is essential on your journey to relinquish control.

Embrace uncertainty. Don’t get so fixated on a particular outcome that you forget to make room for change. There is always a chance for error. Not everything needs a clear path. Embrace the unknown. There is beauty in the unfamiliar. Don’t stay stuck on what you want. Sometimes it is better to look at the bigger picture. You never know why things had to happen that way. Could it be the change was your protection from future pain and harm?

Scriptures that will help you relinquish control

Isaiah 26:3 KJV

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

1 Peter 5:7 KJV

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Final thought

Surrendering to God is the highest form of trust in Him. When you surrender to Him, you make Him Lord over your life. And one of the benefits is that He is the One who will guide and direct every step of your life. This means that in everything you do, He will be the One in the driver’s seat. And when you do, He takes over every area of your life, guiding you in the way you should go, which ultimately brings success in every area of your life. Jesus is asking you today to give Him access to every area of your life and stop controlling the outcome. Fully trust Him. It’s time to let go of worry, fear, and anxiety by casting all your burdens unto Him for He cares for you.

God promises He will never disappoint those who put their trust in Him. His word is true because it has been tested and tried. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge and let go of control. God promises to catch you, but He wants you to go all in. Are you ready? Enjoy the ride because the One who is in control holds your future and your life in His hands. He loves you and wants the very best for you. You are his choice, His Child, and His precious jewel. Rest in that truth!

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Today, I want you to know that you can trust God. This is because He is faithful and consistent. He has been there for others in the past, so He will be there for you, too. He is reliable and not fickle. Do not look at God based on the lenses of your experiences and past. Rather, let the Bible show you who God really is. As you do that, it becomes easy to relinquish control.