DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

Can you honestly say you love yourself? I know that is a weird question to ask, but bear with me. Maybe you are asking yourself what I mean by that question. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. According to the brain and behavior research foundation, Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. While these definitions are all good, we need to know what God says about self-love and whether He does even acknowledge it, to begin with. But before we do let me ask you this.

Do you extend to yourself the same grace as you do others?
How do you talk to yourself?
What is your perception of yourself?
What do you think of yourself when you look in the mirror?

The biblical definition of self-love.

Going to the gym, eating a healthy diet, etc are great, but the highest form of self-care is your perception of yourself. The second most important commandment given to us by Jesus is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The way you love others is a direct reflection of how you love yourself.

If you are always criticizing others, it means that’s the same thing you do to yourself. This is because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And as a person thinks in their heart, so they are. So let me ask you again, do you love yourself? Maybe you’ve realized that you do not love yourself as you thought. It is okay. Acknowledgment is usually the first step to change. Are you wondering how to change that? Well, here you have it. The genesis of it all is to first know what the Biblical definition of self-love is.

Self-love is viewing yourself the same way God does. God is perfect, and that means His view of you and me is perfect, too. So again you ask, how does God view me? Well, in the book of Psalm, He says that you are wonderfully made, thus in His eyes, you are perfect. Why criticize yourself then? God says you are the head and not the tail. Why look down on yourself? He deems you as worthy and that is Why He sent His son to die for your and my sins. Why do you consider yourself unworthy? He says He thinks good thoughts about you. Why would you think otherwise?

God says when you repent your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive, why then, would you let a chapter and mistake define the rest of your life? If you are having a hard time, then look at the story of Peter and how Jesus redeemed Him in John 21 or even the story of David after he committed adultery. God called you before you were born. Why, then, would you let someone else disqualify you? Are they God? For every negative notion you have of yourself, there is a scripture that can counter it.

So then, how can you love yourself?

One way is to deactivate the inner critic, so then how does one do that?

Resolve in your mind not to allow verbal abuse, that is stop speaking negatively to yourself. Rather speak life. If you have been focusing on the things you hate about yourself, then look at the things you do like about yourself. And if you have a hard time finding one, just think of the compliments that anyone has ever given you and use that. One of the most interesting things about the mind is that what you focus on, you empower. And although initially, it will be a struggle, the more you keep at it, the more positive you become.

So what positive attributes do you have? Comment below, come into agreement with the positive and watch the perception you have of yourself shift. Again, speaking life is very important because our words are important and if you want to enjoy life not just physically but mentally, etc, you need to start speaking life. God created you in His image and likeness, and so you have the power to shift your atmosphere and especially your mind. If you want to improve your health, mind, and just overall life, you need to do so with your words.

Remember Rome was not built in a day. Therefore, it will take time for you to silence the inner critic since that has been dominant in your mind. All you need to do is whenever the inner critic comes up speak the positive in your life. An example would be yes, you are not perfect in this area, but you acknowledge you are getting better. Celebrate the times you have been successful in the area that you are currently failing at. And remind yourself that you are a work in progress. After all, you can never be perfect. Even the Bible in the book of Romans tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Why would you expect perfection when God is not asking you to be perfect?

After all, that was why Jesus came to earth. He came to perfect us through the finished work of the cross. So He gave you and me His righteousness for our sins. Of course, this does not give us the license to continue living in sin. But this takes off the pressure of perfectionism. Which, quite frankly, is unattainable. As long as you are on earth, God is sanctifying you and that means you will experience perfection and justification when you get to heaven. And here is a scripture that will help you take the pressure of being perfect off.

Romans 7

¹⁴We know that the law is spiritual, but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.

¹⁸For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Find out what God says about you.

The wonderful book called the Bible contains beautiful words that our Heavenly Father has spoken over us. So instead of agreeing with the words, others speak over you, why not grab a Bible and instead speak what God speaks over you? The other thing is to decide that what others say about you is none of your business. It is on them. Obviously, if they are correcting you and their correction is valid, then you obviously need to heed it because you cannot ignore godly counsel. But if what they are telling you has no basis and is negative, then ignore it and focus on God’s word. Let me give you a couple of scriptures to remind you what God says about you.

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9.

“Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will …” Ephesians 1:4-5.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10.

Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 4:7

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

Give yourself space for grace.

You’ve learned the wrong things longer than you have learned the right things and thus often the wrong will be the one that will manifest most of the time. So give yourself grace and realize that in this journey you are unlearning as you learn and it will take time for you to fully love yourself and become the version you know you should be. So when you make a mistake, dust yourself up and try again. And remember, your heavenly Father is cheering you on and you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is there to encourage and motivate you to continue moving forward. You will mess up because you are not perfect and that is the beauty of becoming. You learn with every mistake and that is okay.

The Bible reminds us that we will but what matters is that we rise again. Don’t expect to get it all figured out in a day. It is a journey and it is best that you embrace the process.

Reward the becoming.

Every step you take in the right direction you should reward. You should be your biggest cheerleader, as God is too. If you have gone a day without cursing and talking badly to yourself, that is a milestone and should be celebrated. Every time you speak something positive, acknowledge that because again what you focus on, you will empower. Do not focus on the bad, focus on the good.

The beauty of celebrating small milestones is that it gives you the confidence to keep going because you can see fruit. That is why it is important to celebrate the small wins.

Rest and recreation.

You are not a machine, you need to refuel and recharge so the same way God rested on the 7th day, you need to do so too. Find something you love and do it. What do you enjoy doing? Go ahead and do it. Obviously, something morally upright. But yes, have fun. God rested on the seventh day, why shouldn’t you? Jesus also rested. He would even withdraw to recharge. He is the ultimate blueprint of how we should live. So if Jesus rested then you should too.

Conclusion.

Self-love is a journey and won’t just come immediately after you start but as long as you keep taking the steps in the right direction you will keep evolving and at some point, you will look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize yourself because the former you will be gone. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And you need to realize that God is always cheering you on because He loves you and you are His child. He does not focus on the bad you did, He wants to encourage you to try again and again because every time you try you get better at it.